The Stupidity Of Personal References On A Job Application

List three references from a job application

:::ring, ring:::

Me:  Hello.

Friend:  Hey Doc, it’s me.  Listen, I hate to bug you but I need a favour.

Me:  Certainly.  What is it?

Friend:  I want to put you down as a personal reference on a job application.  Is that okay?

Me:  I’m sorry, you’re doing what exactly?

Friend:  I’m going to put down your name and phone number as a personal reference on a job application.

Me:  And then what?

Friend:  And then they call you and you tell them what a great person you think I am.

Me:  So you want me to lie?

Friend:  (Long pause) Yes.

Me:  You’re giving my name and number to a total stranger and asking me to lie for you?  Why?

Friend:  So they will hire me.

Me:  They’re going to hire you based on my lie alone?

Friend:  No. I still need two other people to lie to them as well.

Me:  Very confusing.  You’re going to get hired because you were able to get three people to lie for you.

Friend:  Yeah, hopefully.

Me:  How many other applicants are applying for this job?

Friend:  Oh, I don’t know.  Twenty or thirty…  Maybe.

Me:  You’re telling me that the person doing the hiring is potentially going to be lied to ninety times?

Friend:  Could be.

Me:  Do people like being lied to?

Friend:  No.  They hate it.  So will you do it?

Me:  How does the fact that you can get three people to lie for you help the person doing the hiring determine who is best qualified for the job?

Friend:  (Silence)

Me:  I’m just thinking outside the box, and I know about thinking outside the box because I live in the box, but this person or company that you want to work for doesn’t sound like the kind of place you really want to be if their hiring practices are based on who can best get their fiends to lie for them.

Friend:  I really need the job so I can pay back the money I owe you.  What do you say?

Me:  Oh, well in that case, sure.  No problem.

Friend:  Thanks Doc!

:::click:::

 

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